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help plz
18-06-06, 11:26 AM
Salamu alaikum

I am 19 yrs old and i used to go to a mixed school. During that time I got close to a muslim guy. I was 17 at the time. We used to talk on the phone all the time, but at first I only saw him as a close friend. I used to tell him all my problems, and he used to tell me his.

As things went along I found out that he liked me more than a friend. A year later I started to develop feelings for him. I forgot to mention we talked for 2 years straight.

Then my mum caught me one night talking on the phone to him. She always hated this guy. I went through hell for months. My mum prohibited me from everything. Talking to friends, going anywhere, everything. When she found out I did the most stupidest thing I've ever done in my life..... I took 10 strong tablets that were sitting in the medicine cabinet.

My mum knew what I had done. My intention was to get my mum to feel sorry for me, to get her attention, not to kill myself. Although that's what it sounds like. Anyway I didnt remember anything that happened that night. I eventually got help from someone close.

Then I started to learn about the religion. I stopped everything. Music, tight clothes,everything. Alhamdolilah I also wore a abaya. I put an end to the relationship I had with that guy. He was devastated because he had done nothing to hurt me. It took me a while to actually stop dialling his number. I'd find an excuse and I'd call him and then we were back on. I eventually did it.

But...... now one and a half years later I still think about him 24/7. I wake up his on my mind. I go to sleep his on my mind. Everything I do I'm thinking about him. Even sometimes when I'm praying I think about him, and I think that my prayers aren't excepted, but I can't help it. Most of the time I cry myself to sleep. I always give my mum attitude and answer her back. I try everything to change but I can't. I always ask Allah for help. I don't know what to do.

I am ready to get married. Two weeks ago someone came to see me but there was no naseeb. I'm just scared that if i do get engaged now, there's two things that can happen, I'm still going to think about that guy or Insha Allah I get over him and get married.

Please help me anyone. I don't want to be the person in my family that my mums always going off at. And I admit most of the time it's my fault. I don't get along with her at all. I want to change that but I don't know how. Please help me to get over this guy and to keep my mind on the religion. Please anyone help.

Sorry it's so long I just had to tell you the whole story.

Jazaku Allah Wassalam

Sheikh
28-06-06, 05:12 AM
Wa Alaikom assalam,

Alhumdulilah that you turned to the religion and I ask Allah that he gives
steadfastness on his deen.

Sister that relation with that guy was wrong from the beginning and haram,
and I know you know and understand that, but I what you to take what I will
mention serious,
Anything that's established on wrong or haram, will always be wrong and bad
outcome will always come out of it.
Sister thank Allah that what happened between you and your mum was for your
own benefit and the only person that you should trust is your mum she is the
one that really cares about you and knows what's always better.
As Allah say ' don't you hate something that can be beneficial to you'
Its our desires that always wants to lead us to the wrong and that's what's
happening with you, but inshallah you string enough to tackle that and Allah
will take care of you.

Sister relay on Allah and follow his orders you'll always win and succeed,
disobey him you'll always loose, and what you for Allah, Allah will always
choose the best for you.

You left that guy for the sake of Allah, then Allah will get you someone
better.

And Allah knows better

Sheikh Shady suleiman

26/06/06