View Full Version : in love with a muslim man
I need help been with sum1 for few years and his pretty well known in the muslim community.. I am half muslim and half christian but was bought up the christian way. I dont know what to do i really love this guy and want to be with him WE HAVE RECENTLY broke because of this.. I really want to be with him, i know he loves me but i think his sacred of what people would say??? PLEASE HELP !!!! :( :( :(
21-11-06, 09:51 AM
Just firstly interested in something you said, your " half christain and half muslim " and you were raised as a christian...
Have you ever considered learning about & practising Islam ?
hay there........ well my mother is muslim so i do know a bit about islam i've actually been rasied the christian way but been bought up with my muslim cuz's so its a bit hard... i do want to learn about it but im a bit scared on how ppl will react :wink:
21-11-06, 03:17 PM
Hey there Pinky,
There comes a time when you need to do what you feel is right for you, If you are interested in Islam, then you owe it to yourself to learn more about it.
For now if you wish you can learn about Islam there is no need to say anything to anyone for now, and then when you are ready to tell people you can.
Once again it is up to you, please if there is anything you would like help with I would be happy to help u out where I can as would many others here :).
Maybe have a quiet word to your mum or to your cousins and ask them to help you out where she can. I am pretty sure they would be so excited and willing to help if you were to ask them about Islam.
You can even do it in a casual way....
Let me know if there is anything I can do to help :)
21-11-06, 08:05 PM
hey salams pinky
thats makes to of us if u ever need anything just ask inshallah....
as for the boyfriend if he is tha worried people will talk then i doubt very much that he will change his mind anytime soon, besides if he is dating you then it doesnt sound like he respects you at all. i know it sounds strange but there is wisdom behind it.
feel free to ask anything you might be curious about...
hi guys ,
thanks for your support, i really dont know what to do i cant ask my mother for advise its not that easy. Since then me and my partner have split and its so damm hard cause i still love him and he still loves me. He is worried wat ppl think due to the fact that his family are very well known to the community . Now that we have split up he has changed towards me i dont understand why. He now accuses me of things that i would never do and he believe things that ppl say and it hurts cause there all lies.
We have been with each other for a while and spent nearly every day together. He tells me that he needs to think things through and ive given him the space to do that. What i dont is at the start i told him this wasnt going to work cause of religion and stuff he said dont worry will work it out ... now years later my heart is attached to this guy and now he says to me religion plays big role why pull me in and get me hooked up on u why make me fall in love with u why waste thoses years with me thats wat i dont understand. Its always harder for female to let go a guy can move on go out with his mates do wat ever but gals find it harder.
The thing is its like i know he wants me and i know he loves me heaps and cares for me, and im stuck i dont know if i should close the door and move on or wat? He tells me that no other guy can have me then again he doesnt know what he wants??? he checks my fone to see if any guys call me but he wont let me go through his fone??i would do anything for this man and im willing to convert but his confusing me so much i dont know what to do ??? everytime we speak about it he yells and gets really angry and changes the topic !!!!
:help: :help: :help:
23-11-06, 06:10 AM
why dont you tell him to teach you about Islam... so that when you know the religion and be ready to commit to it.. and marry him.. people no longer can say a thing.. unless it's a ratial issue rather than a religious one.
23-11-06, 06:27 AM
First of all let me say I am sorry that you are going thru this, but believe me it will at the end of this it will make you a stronger person.
PINKY: i would do anything for this man and im willing to convert
errrmmmm...to convert to Islam you need to do it for the right reasons and NOT for a guy.
under_cover: people no longer can say a thing.. unless it's a ratial issue
Even if it is a ratial issue then still no one can say anything :oops:
PINKY: everytime we speak about it he yells and gets really angry and changes the topic !!!!
It really sounds like you need a break from each other for a lil while, no contact no nothing, just space for 1. you to decide if you for yourself really want to embrace Islam 2. for you to really think about your feelings for him 3. for him to actually decide what he wants
And also make a deal with him that whatever is decided you will both respect each others wishes and if it comes to ending it then this was not meant to be.
Something I really believe in is that true love doesnt mean you will never split up...... It just means you will always get back together.
We are here for you..
May Allah guide you to the truth.
23-11-06, 03:09 PM
Please first of all make your mind that you want this man for to settle down and havea good life as marriage partner.
2.Ask him and tell him i want you for my life partner and would like to merry and want to be a good muslim
3. Ask him to teach you about Islam or you can go to Muslim Community Centre for toget knowledge.
4. dont tell any one only your man. later you can tell everyone.
When you make decision confidently and whole heartdly stick on it.
Wishing you best
Just a quick question. :idea:
Would u have ever thought of reverting back to Islam, if it was'nt for this guy!
And you said that u have spoken to him about your intention and basicaly brushed u off! WHY ask ur self. :shock:
If he is using religion as a barrier now, what was going through his mind over the past few years. So it was ok to play around with u but now it is haram to be with u, even though u told him that u are willing to meet him half way!!!!!
WAKE UP, MOVE ON, I mean do u really want to be with some like this?
If he was so in to his deen, he should not of gotten in to a relationship with u in the first place, thus keepted u holding on to him for so long with out making things right. :angry:
LET ME TELL U SOMETHING, IF a man loves u he would never bring shame upon u, he would never let u hold on to him for so long, with out making things right. IT really seems like he was or still is using u. Get out, move on.
For the Islam part, think and learn about it for ur self, with out the intention of doing anything for anyone but ur self. Take it as gaining knowledge about an issue. From this stand, stand back and do some sole searching, and see weather or not u can commit ur self to our wonderful deen. But never change ur self or anything about ur self FOR ANY MAN. If u r going to do something anything at all always do it for ur self. :8
SEE THATS THE THING I WANT TO SO BADLY BUT I CANT!!! IM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY ITS LIKE I CANT LIVE WITHOUT HIM. THE THING THAT KILLS ME IS I KNOW I SHOULD WAKE UP AND MOVE ON AND CLOSE THE DOOR BUT HOW ????
To me it feels like im been used, everytime he wants something he calls me i know thats so wrong but i drop everything and run to him. But wen i need him sometimes he doesnt do the same!!!
Look he hasnt done anything to miss treat me, but it hurts alot wen he accusse me of things i havent done. He knows i can get any guy, his seen it in his own eyes.
Why does religion play a big role??? My father is christian my mother is muslim.
I just find that a lot of muslim guys take advantage of us christian gals. Im not just saying that but alot of them do i've seen it happen they hook u up and say "i love u , " one day get married Bla Bla Bla and then stay with u for a while and wen it comes to the crunch they say
my parents wont allow it then they go marry there own kind! why dont we have feelings to?
This guy that im with well broken up with promised me all this and took the one thing i can never get back. He says he still loves me and want to be with me but he cant because of what ppl would say cause a member of his family is very well known in community!!!!!!!!!!!
So what do i do???? im so lost and confused walla!!!!!!!
I SHOULD JUST WAKE UP AND MOVE ALONG PLENTY OF GUYS OUT THERE BUT MY HEART AND SOUL IS ATTACHED TO THIS GUY!!!!!!!!! :vsad: :vsad: :( :( :help: :help:
25-11-06, 04:17 PM
I just find that a lot of Muslim guys take advantage of us christian gals. Im not just saying that but alot of them do i've seen it happen they hook u up and say "i love u , " one day get married Bla Bla Bla and then stay with u for a while and wen it comes to the crunch they say
my parents wont allow it then they go marry there own kind! why dont we have feelings to?
That's because a good Muslim comes to your door and knocks on it to ask for your hand officially from your parents. A good Muslim guy is a successful person who's intention to be with a righteous wife to grow a family. A good Muslim guy does not take you 'cause you're blond like these guys do, but 'cause they know deep inside you are precious.
That's what differentiates them.
You've gotta become a good Muslim and stay away from the path of dating - each guy you date there's an equal chance that you will get to the same result.
Strengthen your personality and knowledge in Islam and qualify yourself in a decent career (if you do not already have one).
I find that guys usually respect those who they choose as wives... not those who run after them… what he did with you is totally haram in Islam, and don’t think that Allah swt leaves those who transgress alone if they do not repent and stay firm on the His path.
And Allah swt knows best.
25-11-06, 05:44 PM
I just find that a lot of Muslim guys take advantage of us christian gals
Many non muslim guys also take advantage of girls, Its not something that can be based on religion, but a sad fact of life.
It is not really what is taught in someones home, which garantees that the children who reside in that home will follow what it showen and practiced.
If it is in a person to do something, they will do it.
Guys get out there and set traps. Taping in to the vonrable sides of a women/ young girls. Taking advantage for the sole purpose of having fun.
A great deal of men, regardless of religious orientation take advantage of young women. Thus young women are in return are told to be aware of such men. This sounds so simple but the fact remains that this is not easy.
When a girl who has not expreienced much in her life, hears I LOVE U, she falls. And thats what is wrong. We need to build our characters, and make r selves strong.
To the sisters that stated marriage being a safe envrionment/ thus alternative. This too is not the case in to days time. Illegal sex still maintains and exists even when one is married. And if u say well if u r married to a good muslim, HOW DO U KNOW!
I have seen so many of these good muslim families, and the secret lives that they live.
It seems as though in this day and age no one fears ALLAH. And I feel so bad. So bad in the sense that, Allah is so loving, mercyful, and giving and all that he asks is for us to show him that we belive in him, by following his duties. But to day that seems to be so much for so many people.
PINY, what u said about muslim guys and christain girls is true, Christian girls r seen as an easy target, " shes a christaian bro" and that is ment to make it ok! Well sis this is the truth and I am so sorry that u are going through such a bad experience. YOU CAN MOVE ON. YOU R MORE THAN SOMEONES SPERM DISPOSER, do not allow ur self any more grief by thinking about this guy , u r wasiting ur time. You know that u deserve better than this. Be around ur friends as much as u can, turn ur focus and energy in to something productive, work, future goal, education, etc.
Give ur self sometime to heal. But always keep ur self occupied. And when he starts to chase, Get everything off ur cheast and say good bye. Let him know that u r now aware of this actions, and that u do not want to be wit someone who is a hypocrate. Because thats what he is. ANy way sister
A MUSLIM MAN CAN MARRY A CHRISIANT WOMEN. THIS IS NOT A SINN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!
SO for him to be stating this as a reason not to make the relationship right is a load of crap! Get and stay away from him. SHAME ON HIM, for representing our deen, Shame on him for hurting and liying to young women, and then turning around and using Islam as an excuss!
PS, notice how I an refering to u as a sister, because that is what u r to me regardless of your faith, or backround. Because, weather or not u belive in Allah, U r still my sister because ALLAH the one that I worship made u and me, and that is all that matters.
I have been thinking about what ppl have told me and have sunk some of the advise that was given to me. Its going to be really hard for me to move on and close the door, but i have to do it. Just thinking about him or even wen i meet up with him i alway go home depressed and upset, i feel like that nothing in this world matters to me if his not with me and if i could take my own life i would and i sometimes curse myself to have something really bad to me happen so i no longer be around. I know its wrong to take ur life and harm urself and no guy or gal is worth taken ur life over. Im just mad its hard to express ur feeling on this.
Maybe because his hurt me mentally i feel like this, i honestly want to move on but i dont know how to start because his always on my mind.
I so badly want to meet sum1 else so i can move on and stop thinking about him every min. I dont want to move on but i have no choice if he doesnt want to be with me, even though he says he wants to but he cant because of this and that then i got to move on and show him i dont need to be treated this way.
It kills me inside because my family dont know about him so its hard for me to talk to them about him. And wen they see me upset they ask me but they dont know the real reason why im like that. HAving no support is really hard cause u end up keeping everything inside, and one day soon it will xploxed and thats what im afriad of, i'm scared i might do sumthing.
I know u guys dont know me and stuff but i guess its good sumtimes to get advise from strangers.
02-12-06, 07:30 PM
i really feel for you! wallahi i do but sister hes not worth it seriously, you are better then that. i have seen many people in ur position but U WILL survive yes its hard but there are plenty more fish in the sea and one day u will sit back n think about where you are now and realise that u didnt end up together for a reason.
hes only one man, ur still young remember when ur trying least to find what you want then it always just happens to be right in front of you.
take care sis we may not know you but were always here to help
02-12-06, 10:39 PM
hey there Pinky,
I really wish I could give u a big hug... U know in time it will become easier sis, just give yourself time to heal before you go looking for someone else who would only be on the rebound.
Take a break from boys and try to focus on yourself a little bit. Give yourself time to completely get over him. I know you are hurt and angry and upset and these are all stages of the process of healing.
You will always have memories of him but that is what they are memories to learn from, to smile back onto later on life.
You will also be a stronger person after this, and your right suicide is not the answer.
Remember u always have us to turn to if you need it.
Your in my thoughts and prayers
03-12-06, 03:47 AM
really wish I could give u a big hug...
you can always use this: :hug:
What the sisters are saying is true pinky..just put it in mind and have faith that Allah will be there for you to give you the helping hand you need.
Here's another one from me :hug:
take care :)
03-12-06, 07:27 AM
oooooo i didnt know that one was there :unsure:
so pinky here ya go... :hug:
thanks sis under cover !
Its been a few days since we've heared from u :shifty:
I was just wondering how ur doing!
What have u been up too?
Have u spoken to Mr MAN, if so whats has he said or not said?
How r u couping with things, since we chated last?
hay guys thanks heaps knowing u guys actually care really means alot to me. I know its hard but i'l get there HOPEFULLY I THINK the best the thing is to have time for myself and know what i want in life.
hay mss..........im fine i have spoken to him i actually saw him on friday and bit on sunday had bit of a fight im so over it walla !!! i've just been going out and trying to have fun and i did i ended up meeting few ppl out there so that sort of made my spirits high which was good!!
I guess there are plenty of fish out there, i just have to catch the right one hahahah.
unpredictable----> thanks for starting the hug!!! just wanted to ask u guys something are u aloud to say ur asl??? which means age, sex. location?? i know getting advise from both sexs are good its hard to know who im talkin to lol ( which sex it is hahah).
I also wanted to ask is there like a chat club!! were u can meet ppl and stuff!!!
Hi, pinky, this is mss,
I to was wondering the same thing, weather or not we sisters would met up some place like a coffee shop or something! :clap: :clap:
I would love to do it, However I am not sure if other sisters would like to met up. It would be wonderful to met the people who have been so careing and friendly, after all friends whith sound personalities r hard to find, but hear it seems like we have won the loto. :yikes:
If other sisters do not want to met up, I would like it if we met up for a coffee and really chat! :hug:
And yes, I am a female, 26, living in the Bankstown area!
:D :D :D Thanks heaps walla im 25 f from guildford so were not that far i guess have u got my email address?????? im not sure if u have access to it let me know ??...
Just getting advise from u guys really does heap me and also knowing u guys are same religion as my x , it helps me understand more things better.
I have decided to let go and move on, just in last week or two he has changed towards me big time , i dont need a man to put me down and make me feel like crap. He has changed bigtime i dont understand why though??? just the way he talks to me and acts i know thats really not him. His friends play a big influence on him and i know for a fact his mates are going to stuff up his life. Ive been with him for few years never once did he drink nor smoke or take anything at all he didnt even let me smoke thats how aganist it he was. Now his doing all the above, drinking going out parting and smoking alot of pot nearly every day and gambling. Ive tried talking to him and telling him its haram and stuff but he doesnt care at all. Since his been doing all this i have noticed the change in him and its really bad.... or maybe his just doing it to me only i dont know.
Anyways no matter how much i love this guy nothing in world i do will ever please him, so i guess its time just to move on and look else were my family is the most important thing now i guess its his lose not mine and wen he realise it it will be a little to late for anything. What he has done to me and what he has put me though only god will judge. ulah is big and he see's everything. I just hope i learn from this and just be strong.
hay mss if u want to meet up for coffee sumtime let me know if u have access to my email let me know i'll email u my number.!!!!!
08-12-06, 08:34 PM
hey assalamu alaykum
pinky im glad to hear that youve stepped back from this guy and just in time by the sounds of it if he is into haram stuff then its a good time to keep away from him, he really sounds like trouble........ you can do so much better. but think about why he was apart of your life for so long maybe there was a reason behind it, and maybe theres a good reason why this is the time you left. inshallah i hope finding the right one will be easy for you.
im jealous oh man u guys are lucky to be able to get together and hang out. but its good to know that there are other sisters my age on here im 25 i live on the south coast. theres not many muslims down here, but its gr8 having this site alhumdulillah.........
anyway take care inshallah
08-12-06, 09:26 PM
Alhamdulilah (praise be due to Allah) that things are going well your way Pinky, hand in there, you're make it so long as keep that esteem up...
About meeting up... coffee could be nice and all, but why not meet at an islamc place somewhere in lakemba where the sister can be introduced to other muslim sisters and be in a welcoming enviroment where she can learn many new things which will help her out insha Allah..
Just a suggestion :)
09-12-06, 08:29 AM
I think the idea of meeting in an Islamic place sounds wonderful, and Lakemba is easily accessable by train buses etc.
Iam really stuck, I cant log in or email u, there seems to be a problem,
my email is ?????@hotmail
I do noy know if what i am doing is wrong, but my intention is in the right place. :shock:
Hope to hear from u soon, mss
By the way consider what the other sisters have suggested, and get back to me. I am cool with anything really!! :D
As long as u r comfortable, that is the important thing. I can meet up with u for a coffee or met up with u in an Islamic gathering place, I must point out not just to u but for everyone else, I do not wear the hijab. For some reason I felt compeled to state this factor. :unsure:
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.1.6 Copyright © 2013 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.