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i am a 14 year old girl i've had bad friends that got me into the habbits of guys and stuff. i have had " boyfriends " as you can see there is a "s" at the end of it. hamdallah i stoped chating to guys and dumped my boyfriend recently. i've repented but i still feel bad and lost and whenever i think about it it makes me depressed what should i do??
The Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, “The one who repents from sin is like the one who never sinned.” [Ibn Maja (3240)] He also said, “Remorse is repentance.” [Ibn Maja (4242) and Ahmad (3387)]
So in referenece to this Hadith sis, keep in mind that the very fact that you feel so badly about what you have done is repentance in itself.
Its not easy to rid yourself of guilt, its a terrible feeling and i assure you that almost every person on this forum is or has at some point carried guilt for an action they should not have commited.
However, your human sis, we were created to make mistakes, this is our test from Allah (swt), whats important is that you have seen the error of your ways and alhamdulilah are taking the steps to make things right inshallah.
The Conditions for Repentance
The conditions for repentance are well known:
Leaving the sin;
Remorse over having committed the sin;
Resolve never to return to the sin;
If these conditions are truly met, then one can expect one's sins to be forgiven. However, one has to be very careful about how sincere one is in fulfilling one's conditions. It is recommended to seek forgiveness a lot, and to repent every time the sin comes to one's mind.
If one keeps repeating the sin, then one should find the root cause(s) of the sin and eliminate them. For example, if one falls into a certain sin because of the company one keeps, then it would be necessary to either stop keeping their company, or to change the nature of one's relationship with them.
So sis, if your friends encourage or influence you into this type of behaviour, i think it would be a good idea to slowly phase them out of your life. I know its not easy to give up friends but sis think of your future, your hereafter and most importantly think of Allah (swt).
So, what is true repentance?
Ibn Hajar mentioned that Qurtubi quoted different definitions of true repentance (al-tawba al-nasuh) in his tafsir. Ibn Hajar mentioned the most important of these:
1. Umar’s words (Allah be pleased with him) that it is, “To sin and then never to return to it.”
2. To hate the sin, and the seek forgiveness for it every time it occurs to one, as Hasan al-Basri (Allah have mercy on him) said.
3. Qatada’s words (Allah have mercy on him), “To be genuine and truthful in one’s repentance,” which is what Imam Bukhari chose as the definition of true repentance in his chapter heading.
4. To have sincerity in one’s repentance.
5. To be concerned about one’s repentance not being accepted.
6. To be such that it does not need another repentance after it.
7. To be made out of fear and hope, and be accompanied by consistency in worship.
8. Like the seventh, but with the added condition that one desert those who assisted one in sin.
9. That one’s sin be between one’s eyes. [ That is, one does not forget it.] [Ibn Hajar, Fath al-Bari]
It is recommended to perform wudhu, and pray two rakats of the repentance prayer . It is recommended to repent and seek forgiveness while prostrating during the prayer, in the final sitting after the tashahhud & blessings on the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace), and also after the prayer . It is best to make supplication (dua') with the Prophetic invocations, if one knows them, or with that which comes from your heart otherwise .
Try performing the prayers and repent in your heart and mind everytime the guilt starts to creep up on you.
I hope this helps sis, let me know how u go.
13-09-07, 10:45 AM
As salaamu Alaikum Sister,
Repent and cry to ALLAH for He is all Forgiving All Merciful.
Alhumdulillah you have got the Mercy of ALLAH for if ALLAH did not open your eyes and put the Deen and love of ALLAH in your heart than you may have been lead into more harm , so praise ALL MIGHTY ALLAH for giving you this chance at striving to become a better muslimah.
Sister once you have repented do not go back into bad habits , do ur utmost BEST to stay away from bad company remain with friends who bring you closer to Deen and close to ALLAH.
If you are not doing so already then try and get involved in islamic community projects i.e. helping the poor and needy, volunteer if you able to, seek knowledge about Islam, get yourself involved in more islamic activities InshaAllah.
InshaALLAH take care sister
salam sis lulu
thank you soooooooo much u really did help me . hamdallah im goin fine im concentrating on more important thingz soo i kinda dont fink much bout it anyway :D i jus have some stuff dat i keep finkin bout da first thing is dat im reallii scared dat god wont forgive me and wat if i die now n god is angrey wif me n stuff like dat and da oda thing is i keep gettin these werid feelings and like some dayz i can be really happy and everything n den suddenly i jus brake down :( do u fink im goin to be like dis for da rest of my life??
thank youu again and inshallah allah grants u firdos ala3la (amen)
Well like i said in my post, Allah (swt) tells us if we ask for forgiveness with sincerity, he will forgive us because thats what he does! He is the all forgiving and merciful.
Put it this way sis, Allah (swt) has more mercy on us than a mother to her child. When u think of it that way, theres no way a mum could ever trully hold a grudge against her child, so imagine that Allah (swt) is even more forgiving to you than your mum would be.
The reason you keep thinking this way is because you still feel guilty. Guilt takes time to leave you, its not something that just goes away over night, but in time, with prayer and patience it will slowly fade.
As for your mood. Well sis your definately not going crazy!!!
Everyone on this earth experiences happiness and sadness, even if they are only hours or days apart.
What you need to do here is stop and look around. Look at your parents and remind yourself how lucky you are that you have them in your life. Ask yourself what true sadness you would feel if you were to lose them (may Allah swt keep them safe) im just using this as an example. Look at your comfy warm bed and remember that there are millions of poor orphans all over the world who would give anything to be in your shoes, with shelter, a hot meal, even something as insignificant to you like toilet paper......i mean do any of us trully realise how lucky we are to have something like toilet paper, or tissues, or a bandaid??? what would we do without these things???
Walahi sis we take everything for granted.
Try and involve yourself in some charities sis, i know so many here in our community that are always looking for volunteers. Its really only when we see how the other half live that we realise how lucky we trully are and beleive me when i tell you its the most amazing cure for sadness.
Like i said, you just going through a period of guilt and confusion. Just remember sis that with repentance you need patience. The sun will shine again real soon i promise!!
So in answer to your question....NO, you definately will not be like this for the rest of your life!
Take it easy sis and dont beat yourself up over a mistake that alhamdulilah you are now making all attempts to fix.
Let me know how u go :)
hamdallah im gettin betta :D i tried to help people who are less fortuante den me i sponsored 2 orphans n bought clothes n stuff like dat 4 eid ... subhanallah i feel free in ramdan :D
thank you very much for your help :D inshallah allah grants you firdos ala'la amen.
23-10-07, 08:27 AM
Due to continued spam on this post, I will have to lock it for a short time.
I appologise for this inconvience.
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