View Full Version : Battle of the heart & mind.
01-06-09, 09:30 AM
In the name of Allah, the most-gracious, most merciful
This is how the story goes. I thought it was something temporary for so long, and something i could easily get over, but now im realising its abit more serious than that.
Ever since highschool, ive always had difficulty focusing on my studies and my deen (not that my islam needed much focus, as it just came naturally due to my immense love for anything that was related to it).
I also have a personality trait, of perfectionism. Where if i was to do something, i want to do it right... or not do it at all. If i wanted to apply something, i would want to apply it fully and not half-way. If i was to stive for anything, it must be 100% and never a 'whatever' job just for the sake of getting it done. And such has been the case with my studies ; my marks are at extremeties.. either HD's or fail. i dont understand.. but theres no moderation.
I make dua, and ask Allah swt to help, and alhamdulilah i have much tawakul in Him swt. Even though for the period that ive been making dua, nothing has changed, i know that Inshallah this is just a test - a test of patience. If He doesnt answer my dua now, than inshallah it will be answered in the akhirah. may allah make it easy
But the question keeps going through my mind, for how much longer do i have to perservere in such a state? People say "study, do well, its for your islam - make your ummah proud" but that doesnt motivate me. Because i believe, what im studying will not help the state my ummah is in at all ; in fact it does not relate to it whatsoever. And if i explain this to them, they say "that not right, allah didnt tell us to do that.. he told us to study and practice our deen". See, they dont understand.
My friends around me, stress so much about their uni work. It is their life and their main focus. It forms the bulk of what they talk and worry about. Yet for me, theres no stress.. no pressure.. and it most definately is not a priority. They look at me in astonishment but then instantly conclude "your so smart, you know you can blitz it, thats why its not a priority for you, and that why you can do so many of the things you do along with uni"
I am not completing my work, i have no drive to complete it.. although i try forcing myself.
But here i am.. with the final thought.. why am i continuing with something i absolutely cannot balance; something my heart and mind is not into? why am i wasting my time? Why dont i just leave, and pursue islamic studies where i know i will succeed for sure?
Im on a scholarship at the moment, and am prepared to lose it.. if someone just presses the trigger, and i hear a gun shot, as a sign to leave it - i will.
You have some words of advice to share? Id appreciate it.
01-06-09, 01:55 PM
For me it is like this, when people use the excuse "its for the deen, make your deen proud", or they say "Allah told us to study etc..." but what did he tell us to study? if he commanded us to study, does He mean religion or mathematics etc...? Put it this way, if the case is we have to study maths and science and all that, then the person who does not study that or does not learn it, is committing a sin? It all depends on what Allah has commanded us to study, and that is our religion, all the other studying such as science etc is just a bonus or an extra study... we don't have to do it, because if that is the case a lot of people are commiting sins.
I know some people may disagree with me, but that is how i view it... and also, what will Allah ask us about in our grave? he will ask about our deen, not maths, not science, not anything else except our relgion. BUT, if our ummah needs a person to study something in parcticular to benefit our ummah because our ummah does not have anyone who knows about that particular trade/job or whatever, then somebody has to study it. But i see a lot of muslim's in high profile jobs, such as in medicine, law, science etc, and i don't see our ummah lacking in those fields... what i do see our ummah lacking in is DEEN, our ummah lacks its base ISLAM .... WE NEED MORE PEOPLE WHO KNOW THEIR RELIGION... anyway this is my view...
hope this helps...
01-06-09, 10:05 PM
I would like to thank you for using our service of counselling and inshallah the below response will be of benefit to yourself and inshallah anyone who reads it :) bi izan Allah!
First of all, I would like to comment on the title of a post...very interesting title...
Anyways, first of all how can study be of benefit to Islam and the Ummah... Studying islam (deen) as we know has a direct benefit with islam and this Ummah bas that doesn't necessary mean that if we study anything other then islam... it won't have an effect and benefit to islam and the Ummah ... IT WILL... maybe not directly but indirectly... At this current stage, if we look at the status of islam and muslims around the globe we find that we are in deep need for some educated muslims to represent islam and muslims and mashallah we do have some if not many bas we need more... for example, at this moment we are need of female doctors as there is a handful of muslim female doctors... let's say as a hypotheical case... you go and study to become a female doctor ... you are benefiting a service for islam and the ummah by being there to assist those muslim females you need a female doctor to assist them in times of needs... as our religion points out for the females to first of all seek female muslim doctors, if they are unavaialble then female non-muslims if they are avaiable then male muslim and so on... thus when your people say study and do well - its for islam ... they are significing an indirect benefit....and maybe a direct one!
This is just one examples of many, we need lawyers in order to defend the muslim community and also when you have a lawyer that is of muslim religion they can understand the person's religion and culture and be able to defend them or get their right! Another example, is public speakers...we need good public speakers because our community is so in need for fluent representatives to represent us at events in media and internationally.
Scientists... think about the day when a muslim scientist discovers...firstly it will benefit the whole humankind as he will discover a cure or something such as knowledge that we are need but also benefit the reputation of the muslims and people will start to view us differently and maybe u will never know it will lead to someone reverting to become a muslim...
Counselling... we are also in so much need for muslim female/male counsellors there is a handful of them around ... and it is essentially important to have some muslims become counsellors because they can understand the culture and religion and be able to help people more then someone who may have little or limited understanding of the culture and religion... and also clients are more willing to participate in counselling when it is a muslim person; a person from amougust their religion... ready to help them...
In essence, what I am trying to show that eveything that we are studying will in some way benefit our community and islam- ofcourse, the highest and best study is of the deen; but the other study is just as important...
Dear Istiqama... first of all we need to begin by changing our intentions... so we can be reward... believe it or not ... in life if we just change our intentions and make it for Allah SWt we can rewarded for every second we spend studying doesn't have to be studyin islam, we can also be rewarded for every second we spend sleep, anything we do in life...
Change our intention and do well and inshallah one day we will be a benefit to the community ... Have a think of this scenario and reflect upon it ... what is 2morrow morning you opened the t.v and you heard of a muslim person wining the noble prize? how would that make you feel? how much effect will they have in insipring young muslims? how much will that benefit our community? just have an indepth think... its something realistic too ! why not... maybe one day u will win a noble prize!
Secondly, in regards to begin a prefectionist and leaving things to the last minute ... as I was reading this ... I started laughing as it reminded me of my ownself... I am actually also a part time student at uni... so I completely understand what you are going through... First of all for leaving things to the last minute unfortuantely it is human nature for us humans to delay things to the last minute; you will be suprised how many university students leave their assesments till they find themselves under stress to get it down.... some people even do it the night before....bas I don't recommend it ... even though i do it myself...not till night before bas last minute... so my dear istiaqma you are in the same boat at many others....
In regards, to prectionist it is good to be one, bas once it goes overboard maybe then we need to stop ourselves and push ourselves to submit it even if it may not be prefect... I have meet many people who won't submit their assesments if they saw an A in their assesment out of place; or if the margins weren't 100% right, etc... so again you are not the only one... Hence, you will need to slowly push yourself to hand in assesments without being 10000% prefect ... 100% is enough... yet, some prefectionist is good... it represents who you are, and it is good preparation for your career ... employement, when representing a proposal for a job opportunity... usually of these they need people who are prectionist... Let me enlighten you on a fact that many employees at this contemporary time are looking for people who are prefectionist coz it is an advantage and benefit for the company.
Furthermore, as I was reading your post I could sense that you are very smart person... so mashallah maybe if you can rethink this study and view it from an positive optimistic view maybe that will be encouraging....
Istiqama ... have a think carefully about what it causing you to be unenusthastic towards study... maybe you are not liking the course you are doing? maybe there is something else that is taking your motive to study? something that you are thinking of reguarly? that is cuasing you not to be motivated to study?
I would like to also congratulate you on not being stressed out for study... you shouldn't be upset about it ... because at the end you do your best and no need to stress.. it's not the end of the world...
As a final note, I would 100% support you with the desire to study islamic studies ...if that's the road that you want to take ....
No one can make that choice for you ... no need to look deep inside yourself and see what you like to do and what road you wanna take.... and make sure no external pressure or thing is influcencing your decision... maybe a good idea if you want to finish this semster for now and then take a break for next semster from uni and actually get to know inside of you what is it you want to do... IF you decide to leave uni... my BIGEST ADVICE will be to actually take a break and not just leave it ... because you will have the door open for you to go back incase you changed your mind... you can defer university for a year!
You pointed to a very good weapon... dua... du3a is the weapon of the believer... my dear sister ..... USE THIS WEAPON continstley ... ask Allah SWT to open your heart and guide you to the best decision!
A very good thing to do is the prayer of istkahira... the Prophet PBUH informed us that we should seek istakhira in anything we do in life small it maybe or big ... this is the perefect time to ask allah which road to take ... if you need to know more about what is istakhira? what is the benefits of istakhira? how to do istakhira? please email me back... I wanted to share the information bas the post is at long as it is ... don't want to make it longer as its another big topic to write!
I do apologise for the length of the post bas there was so much that needed to be clarified and examined....my best advice is to ask both educated and non-educated people on their view point of education... choice wisely who to ask! Ask your parents... see your parents and families prespective...remember they have a right to share you with their thoughts as they supporting you and funded all this years at school... bas never let them force you to do soemthing you don't feel comfortable doing!
Another option... finishing off your degree...don't know what year you maybe in ... and then studying deen or doing soemthing else... you need time to sit down and take ur time to decide cause this a crucial decision that will influcnce a big part of your life. Take your time... if you need to take time off uni or work in order to make that decision do so!
Choice wisely! Education is a big asset and we never stop learning... If it came to me I will continue studying ...If it comes to me I love study.... I am currently on the about to finish my bachelors and I plan to continue further studies bas that don't mean that the scope of islamic studies is not in my range... I am actually interesting in studying islamic studies too ... remember we can spend our whole life studying .... and we will never stop learning... bas that's mean... Another person may not have the interest in studying... it comes to personal choice and personal interest and you need to solely ALONE without any influce make that choice!
I hope that I have helped... if there is anything I said wrong or any1 would want to critise any of the points I have mentioned please feel free!
Jazakum Allah Alf kher!
Inshallah I ask Allah to guide you to the best path and right path in life and to admit you and all the muslims inshallah into paradise...
Don't forget us in your du3a!
On a last note... your feedback is very useful... please feel free to state your feedback and if there is anything you need clarification or would like to ask about ... please feel free to ask!
02-06-09, 12:24 AM
Mash'Allah brother you didnt miss a point there, and addressed each one well. May Allah swt plant you a tree in jannah, for each letter written above
Barak Allahu feek, may allah swt reward you and all others who have shared their advice today.
For the benefit of others.. one brother said today:
The deen is this..
a) You study and you live it. Incorporating it in your WAY OF LIFE.
Here's what happened for 95% Muslims today
a) They study.
b) They do not live it.
c) They become a burden to themselves and their families, and society.
There is no conflict. There is only being true to what Islam really is.
The greatest system in the world, in which no matter if man studies or works, he can do both if he or she, really does apply Islam.
For Islam will give guidance, direction, focus, and teaches a human being to be honest with themselves. To not live by what anyone says. Or what world says. Or what society says.
No, they know, that Islam is a way of life.
02-06-09, 12:40 AM
The issue is though, i could re-iterate all the above and i fully understand it
But, when it comes to starting the day, you are delighted and thank allah swt for the fresh hours ahead of you. So you start to 'study' at 9am, and heres how the process goes:
You place your books down. You decide to begin by reading quran first (because thats always on the mind). Then start making dua. Then all of a sudden its time for breakfast. you come back, check your emails for any important updates, then yo ufind yourself sitting reading an article about islam.. you go into 'im gaining important islam knowledge -mode'. You look at your books, open a page, pick up your pen. Then realise its time for prayer, which goes on for about an hour since your commited to revising a new surah to recite within each prayer. Then.. you try beginning again.. and thats how the cycle goes.. till you realise, its late at night, your tiered and you havent done any uni related work all day!! And thats on a day, where there is no uni... how about a day, when there is uni, and u come late! The books arent even layed out.
Astaghfiru allah.. do you see the issue here? realising the importance of studying; your commited etc.. but your not going about it the right way, and getting the right things done; because your mind is programmed to do your deeni related stuff first..
Istiqama ... have a think carefully about what it causing you to be unenusthastic towards study... maybe you are not liking the course you are doing? maybe there is something else that is taking your motive to study? something that you are thinking of reguarly? that is cuasing you not to be motivated to study?(as humbley as can be, with not a pinch of arrogance inshallah.. just pain - for the purpose of answering your question) Yes there is something else taking my motive to study, their is soemthing else im thinking of regularly... my love for islam, my love for deeni ilm(and my immense immense ignorance of it), dawah etc and yes.. understanding the importance of studies, but not balancing this with that.
I will utilise my semester break to think very hard inshallah.
May Allah swt multiply the amount of muslims in the ummah, who are willing to give advice and a helping hand to the many lost muslim youth out there. Im priviledged to use this service alhamdulilah
25-09-09, 03:51 PM
The question was very helpful to me; I too am in the same boat and i have been looking for advice.
Thanks to all who generated thoughtful/insightful responses.
02-11-09, 10:10 PM
Good advice in this thread mashallah - especially now for all those studying for exams etc
jazakum allahu kheir
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