TO SARAH

[Female]

Salamu 3lakoum,


Assalam alaikum,
I am 15 yrs old, still in yr 10 and i have a major issue and need advice!
i met a guy whom i really liked and have been seeing him for over a year. I removed my hijab about 3 times infront of him (for some reason people see that as a big deal). i basically call him my boyfriend. the thing is, my family is very religious and have no idea about this. if they do find out ill be in deep trouble. i dont know what to do, we both love eachother deeply and find it impossible to avoid seeing eachother. No one understands how i feel, when i explain my issue to someone they just stare at me and tell me its a major sin. But i already know its a major sin but i need real advice!!! we want to continue seeing eachother and i will not be allowed to get engaged let alone married because i am expected to coninue with my education and attend Uni. what should i do in a situation like this??
Jazakz


this question was posted in the counselling section but i would just like

to comment on a what i think about the issue even though the moderates

are gunna have a :shock: :shock:

spazzzzz :oops: .....sowie!!

Sista sarah....think about this...you said that if ur family finds out you will

be in BIG BIG trouble....imagine wat Allah(swt) has thought and saw

about what you have done??

in islam girls and guys do not have boyfriends or girlfriends....this is to

guide u from commiting sin...which it seems to me you have

already....the removing of the hijab is a major sin because Allah(swt)

commanded us to wear it wen we reach the age of purbetry since it will

cover the beauty of the women so she does not attract the mans

attention.

You said you didnt understand why people you tell about this

a shocked...why...the guy your with is not ur

father, brother, uncle or even grandfather...he in islam to you, a girl, is a

stranger...if you were married in islam then you can take off your scarf in

front of him but theres no use wearing the scarf and covering your self in

public then taking it off infront of a guy you dont know!!

If this sounds harsh...i'm sorry but it just frustrates me that girls at such a

young age think that the guy they are in LOVE with really care about

them...they are just playing....a boy can speak a million zillion beautiful

words to woe you BUT a man he will respect you and raise your honor by

not allowing you to commit sins with him... the boy your with is not a

good guy if he was he wouldnt be with you he would be following his

religion like you should be...

NOW dont get me wrong i dont do everything i am supposed to do when it

comes to islam but i try and sister you need to choose whether loving

Allah(swt), the ONE who has given you everything: your family, your

body and soul , this earth, the ability to breath and see and smell....to

LOVE...is more dear to you then the boy you are seeing who can and will

never give you anything as close to what Allah(swt) has given you....you

know what i mean??....

Believe me its easy for me to say what iam typing write now...for you

your heart has been diseased with haram love and lust...it will take

sometime to get over him...mayb a year or two...its not easy at all...all

you want is to be with him and tell everyone how much he makes you

feel special but sis what do u really what out of life...the hearafter or a

boy ( a creation just like you by Allah(swt))??

Loving Allah(swt) and submitting to him is hard but it keeps your mind at

peace...loving a boy who is commiting haram with you gives you heart

ache and grief...makes life much much harder...and you know this

because you asked for advice...so which way are you willing to choose??

inchallah you will see wer i'm coming from sister and stop any contact

with this guy...it WILL be hard but breaking it off NOW and not later will

be much much easier in the long run...

sista open up your heart to islam and seek and see its beauty before you

give your beauty away that Allah(swt) has given you...

just to end...you 15yrs old...i promise you u have so much to look

forward too...life is not all about : he loves me, he loves me not...you

know...its the best feeling to know that a guy has feeling for you but what

feels more incredible is that you know that Allah(swt) is happy with you

and that you can live in this difficult world knowing that you are trying to

repay everything Allah(swt) has given you is such the short time we have

here on earth...you get me??

go be a teen again...dont worry bout getting married now...look for the

things that will advantage you now and in the hereafter...education now is

very important...now you wont see what it will do for you...but as you get

older you will see its advantages and understand what im trying to get

through to you...ok sweetie...take care inchallah you will read all of this

and get something out of it...

Salamu 3lakoum

[..]

assalam alaikum,

Mashallah sister, that is so true.. wat a gift u have in writing. what u said is so true. Sister sarah, i hope u get the advice u need and totally follow it. May allah guide us all on the right path!

Peace be upon u all!

[Sarah]

salamz
Oh thank you sisters u are all very sweet. i have been waiting for advice for so long and this is the best advice yet! You totally deserve paradise inshallah. i will try my best to follow the advice and for now i will wait for the counsellors advice too. 8)
thanx again and salam alaykom.

[cute]

salammzzz

just wana say u gals r cute

nice to c sistaz helpin each other

[female]

Salamu3lakoum

inchallah you see wer im cuming from...take care

what i do to stop myself from commiting sin or to hold back my worldly desires is to say to my self "what would i do if prophet mohammad (peace and blessing be upon him) was here?? or watching me?? or lived in the same community as me or even the same house...ehat do i do or how would i act or what would i say and do??" get me

take care

mwa mwa

salamu 3alkoum

[guidance]

Assalamou Alaicom wr wb


this question was posted in the counselling section but i would just like

to comment on a what i think about the issue even though the moderates

are gunna have a :shock: :shock:

spazzzzz :ops: .....sowie!!

No sister, not at all. In fact, I’m glad that you took a step forward and posted your advice – who knows? By the will of Allah swt, the advice you sisters put forward may be the cause of all of us meeting together in Jannah insha Allah.

The feeling of unity is present when we back each other up. May Allah (swt) reward you.

Sisters, the other day I was discussing an issue with one of my beloved sisters in Islam. We were talking about our negative actions and ways to improve them. We concluded that the way to improvement is divided into two parts. The first part is to receive the correct advice and the other is the will to implement this advice. If one out of these parts is missing we will not succeed. However, with the strength we put in applying the advice and following the religion, and the help from Allah swt, we will – most certainly – succeed.


what i do to stop myself from commiting sin or to hold back my worldly desires is to say to my self "what would i do if prophet mohammad (peace and blessing be upon him) was here?? or watching me?? or lived in the same community as me or even the same house...ehat do i do or how would i act or what would i say and do??"

It is stated in the Holy Quran that on the Day of Judgment our body parts will witness what we did. It is the time when our tongue won’t talk, but the hands and legs will speak out and witness either with us or against us. Our hands and legs are the main source of the actions we do, and they are for sure with us everywhere we go. If we just keep in mind that what I’m going to do with my hands and where I’m going to go with my legs is all witnessed by my legs and hands themselves, then no way a can I dare to do the wrong thing. Keeping in mind the remembrance of Allah swt will help us achieve this level of recognition.

We ask Allah swt to protect us all and keep us stead fast on the right path, amen.

Take care akhawati (sisters) :D :D :D

Luv you all for the sake of Allah.

[amina]

Salamu3lakoum

inchallah you see wer im cuming from...take care

what i do to stop myself from commiting sin or to hold back my worldly desires is to say to my self "what would i do if prophet mohammad (peace and blessing be upon him) was here?? or watching me?? or lived in the same community as me or even the same house...ehat do i do or how would i act or what would i say and do??" get me

take care

mwa mwa

salamu 3alkoum

assalamu alaikum sis...

just about what oyu said,
you were saying what if Muhammad(SAW) was here...whatching you and seeing everything you do right/wrong?
What about ALLAH??
he sees you 24/7...with out fail!!!
i know what you are feeling...imfeeling it too...and i love it when someone gives me advice like this so im giving to u and i hope u appreciate it too?!!
lots of love!....
sis in Islam..Amina

[Amatallah]

Salam Walakum Sister Sarah,
I just want to tell you that may Allah (SWA) make it easy on you and may you find a solution to your difficult situation. Personally, it all comes down on the individual; you can either make it easy for yourself or difficult. The clear resolution to your complication sister, is to ask for Allah (SWA's) guidence, consecutively to lead you towards the righteous path and away from the haram inshallah.

Once you are guided and aware that you are committing wrongful acts, it will therefore keep you away from the haram. Then ask for Allah (SWA's) forgiveness and be sure that you will not continue proceeding with your wrongful actions. Sister Sarah, these are the final solutions to reach your goal- pleasing Allah (SWA).

The easiest way to gain these sources of inspiration is by praying istikara. This is a pray of guidence in a situation of need and support. Whilst you are praying Istikara, cry to Allah (SWA) and ask him to show you and thus assist you to the righteous path and to keep you from the astray one. Allah (SWA) will inshallah show you signs and you will express feelings that will allow you to realize what wrongful actions you are committing.

Sister if you look deeply in this situation you can easily identify the haram being committed. It is apparent that by committing these wrongful acts of disobedience to Allah (SWA), it will only lead you to more misery and grief in your life. Sister what is being done is haram and if no progress is being made, it could lead to more haram. May Allah (SWA) open up your eyes, thus open up your heart, to the deen of Allah and keep you away from this man that is allowing you to do haram without warning. A person with no religion and therefore no compassion towards Allah (SWA), will not be protected and thus be blessed by Allah (SWA). If you keep away from this man for the sake of Allah (SWA), then surely Allah will grant you something better in return. Inshallah a man that fears Allah (SWA), and implements the deen of Allah upon you and any misleaded person inshallah.

Sister Sarah, alhamduallah your not arrogant to realize what you are committing is haram and displeasing Allah. Sisters try to distant yourself as much as possible away from him. It may be difficult at first, but keep convincing in your mind that anything i do for the sake of Allah (SWA), Allah will surely make it easy on me, and give me something much more that is worthy to me.

To make it even more compelling towards yourself sister, try to acknowledge the truth when facing Allah (SWA) in such a situation, what am I going to do in the spare of the moment. Sister once you die the gates of repentance are closed. Sister don’t through this opportunity away for someone that will not risk their lives for the sake of Allah (SWA).

Sister be optimistic and mindful about pleasing Allah (SWA), and be against the oppressive devil (shaytan). Please Allah (SWA), that wants the best for you inshallah and wants you to reach your final destination- Jannah. Also put forth the unhappiness your parents will go through if they find out about their daughter's life and the hurtful decision she is making. Remember sister heaven is under your mother's feet, when you make her happy Allah is pleased with you. I strongly suggest though that you pray istikara and work from there inshallah. Always remember sister Sarah, be with Allah, and Allah will be with you and therefore he will not forget his servant in need.

In conjunction to this Allah (SWA) works in mysterious ways, your story was meant to be posted so that female and i and inshallah other people can read and assist you with information that will inshallah benefit you in your decision making, off coarse with the will of Allah (SWA). It may be easy for me to say this up until I experience this difficult time in your life, but inshallah khair comes through hardships, because without suffering sister there will be no compassion. All the best Sarah, may you choose the right decision in your life that will eventually lead you to Jannah. Please sister remember everything that I am typing, is coming from my heart and it is not a form of interference inshallah, because i want the best for you in your life and in your decision making. Inshallah you take this advice into account and Allah will make it easy for you Ameen.
P.S sorry for the long account and sorry if i had did anything wrong.