How To Treat That Darling Wife!

[TheAuthenticBase]

The Prophet (saw) said:

“Woman was created from a bent rib. If you want to enjoy her, you enjoy her while she is still bent. If you will try to straighten her, you will break her.” [Sahih Al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim]

And A beautiful Quote:


“A women came out of the rib of man,
not his feet to be walked on,
nor his head to be superior over;
she came from his side to be his companion,
under his arm to be protected,
and next to his heart to be be loved.”

Source: http://theauthenticbase.wordpress.com/2010/12/09/how-to-treat-a-wife/

[Covered Beauty]

Salamz

Finally a thread by you for the women..:rolleyes:

Every man should keep the above hadith in mind inshAllah.

Jazaks for sharing.

Salamz

[Ummulkheir]

The quote..and all time favourite!

JazakAllah kheir.

[ibnAffan]

That's a nice hadith. Jazaks for posting.

[TheAuthenticBase]

Salamz

Finally a thread by you for the women..:rolleyes:



Assalaamu 'alaykum,

What do you mean? Sorry I don't understand this part...

[Covered Beauty]

Salamz

Assalaamu 'alaykum,

What do you mean? Sorry I don't understand this part...
As in you've finally posted up a thread for us women.. rather than it being a thread telling us to do this/do that. Hmm meaning, its something that is in support of us.

Can't really put my thinking into words at times. Hope you understand now from my explanation.

Salamz

[NavPak.]

jazakhallahu kheir for sharing. love the quote

[digitalerr0r]

i don't clearly understand that.. is it basically meant to mean that take her as she is.. and don't correct her wrongs ?

[ibnAffan]

So what's the remedy for nagging.

[Covered Beauty]

Salamz

^ Do what you're asked to do the first time your wife tells you, instead of delaying that certain request.. and if 'nagging' is because of you doing a certain act over and over again (which the wife is fed up with), then abstain from doing that act.. e.g. don't throw dirty clothes on floor and leave it there until your wife picks it up and puts it in the laundry basket.. do it yourself.

Salamz

[ibnAffan]

What if she nags without a legitimate cause or reason.

w/s

[>VeiLeD JeWeL<]

What if she nags without a legitimate cause or reason.

w/s

COMMUNICATION is the key brother!


ask yourself..would she really nag for no reason? its outa our nature to nag for no reason!
We are described as loving and caring. But if you treat this loving and caring in a wrong way ALLAH se3id your life wont be to pleasing..

Look at the seerah of the prophet peace be upon him and see how he was with his wives. Its amazing how gentle and understanding he was.

[>VeiLeD JeWeL<]

also advice from me to all the brothers, just take the word nagging outa ur vocab.. shes ur darling wife and ur other half dont use this against her "why do you keep nagging" Trust me this would just make things worse.

If u call ur wife a nag then maybe give her more attention and she would stop nagging.1 nice Word from you, can change alot.

Remember you can say 1 word that could take you to hellfire and you can say 1 word that can take you to jannah! lets just say we all want jannah and stick to the advice of the prophet muhamad allahuma sali 3ala, "either say something good or keep silent".

[Covered Beauty]

Salamz

^ Great posts sis VJ.

Also, what i've realised is that some guys on this forum have thoughts about the wife being a 'nag' before they even get married.. ya3ni if you're going into a marriage thinking 'oh my god, all she's going to do is the nag the hell out of me' than you won't be having much of a pleasant life.. don't sit there thinking that you're going to get a 'nagging wife' like soem stories you may of heard from mates or whoever..

Like sis VJ said, no one nags for no reason.

Salamz

[Covered Beauty]

Salamz

And OMG right this moment, I just got a forward message.. subhanAllah.

Read!!

"The Prophet s.a.w said: "The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is"..

Salamz

[ibnAffan]

All women are bound to nag at some point otherwise they wouldn't be women.

w/s

[Covered Beauty]

Salamz

^ The 'nagging' topic died akhi..

Salamz

[Ummulkheir]

May i add that men can sometimes do a great job at nagging 2. And lets pause 4 a second and define 'nagging', what do we see it as? after all it mite not be a bad trait.

[TheAuthenticBase]

Nagging is no doubt annoying; And when a woman nags, the husband's Al-Hoor Al-'Ayn shouts from above the Seven Heavens with words of Anger:

Mu’aadh Ibn Jabal narrated that the Prophet (saw) said:


“No woman annoys her husband but his wife among Al-Hoor Al-’Ayn says, ‘Do not annoy him! May Allaah destroy you (1)! For he is just a temporary guest with you and soon he will leave you and join (come to) us.’ “

(1) Literally; ‘May Allaah Kill you’

[Ahmad 5/242. At-Tirmidhee 1174. Ibn Maajah 2014, among others]

[TheAuthenticBase]

If this ^ doesn;t prevent a woman from nagging, I don;t know what will..

But I don't think women nag by nature, as a post above said, they are 'pushed' into that corner, whereby they are 'forced' to nag....

However, a true mu'minah who:
(a) knows the high status of her husband,
(b) knows his rights over him,
(c) knows that he is her jannah or hellfire,
(d) knows the above hadeeth

...then in shaa Allaah she would not even nag when pushed into those 'tight' scenarios....

*smile*

Wassalaamu 'alaykum

[Ummulkheir]

I'm sure there is great and intricate tafseer as to what 'annoying a husband' Rasulalah was referring to. Also some men are very short tempered and have nagaphobia which isn't fair on the right of the wife.

[Covered Beauty]

If this ^ doesn;t prevent a woman from nagging, I don;t know what will..

But I don't think women nag by nature, as a post above said, they are 'pushed' into that corner, whereby they are 'forced' to nag....

However, a true mu'minah who:
(a) knows the high status of her husband,
(b) knows his rights over him,
(c) knows that he is her jannah or hellfire,
(d) knows the above hadeeth

...then in shaa Allaah she would not even nag when pushed into those 'tight' scenarios....

*smile*

Wassalaamu 'alaykum

Like sis UK said, depends what the interpretation of 'annoy' is.. nowadays if a woman just says one word, the guy thinks its 'nagging' so no.. i dont think so.

However, a true Mu'min who:

(a) acknowledges that his wife is an amanah (trust)

(b) knows the rights he is supposed to give his wife

(c) knows and understands how tirelessly a wife works

(d) knows that his wife is emotionally driven, most of the time

(e) And most importantly, remembers to have patience with her if she does happen to 'nag/annoy' him...

than inshAllah they shouldn't have any problems..

Like seriously, if Umar r.a. out of all people had patience with his wife at times of her 'giving him a hard time', than why can't you men try to be like one of the best people to ever walk this earth.. and maybe try taking the word 'nag' out of your vocab.. that'd probably help.. Also, a little bit of respect and appreciation would also be good..

Authentic Base, sorry to say this but I feel sorry for your wife (if your married) and if not your future wife..

Ya3ni with all the things a woman has to juggle, you want her to cop lots of crap from the husband and not say a word. Just like you use hadiths, there are also many hadiths that tell men how to treat their wives. For eg. the best of you are the ones best to their wives.

A woman does have feelings too you know.. subhanAllah. All I can say is sisters, when a guy comes to meet you please make sure you think with your brain and pick out his way of thinking/characterisitics.. because you will have to be putting up with his way of thinking etc for the rest of your life unless you ask for a divorce (which wouldn't be too good).

Salamz

[ibnAffan]

Not really talking about in the context of the "oppressed" wife, nor am I talking about in a sense of the "ideal" wife. I don't see nagging as a fault, I just see it as something that needs to inevitably be dealt with.

I'm just talking about what happens when a woman nags when she doesn't have a right to, and what's the best remedy to it. The best post so far has been the 'communication' post by VJ, even though it was a bit vague.

[Ummulkheir]

^give examples , what do u mean when she doesnt hav the right to?

[ibnAffan]

^give examples , what do u mean when she doesnt hav the right to?

In the interest of hypotheticals, here are a few possible scenarios?

1. Nagging about the purchase of a good/service, when it is not in your capacity / and need to incur debt.

2. Nagging about mobile phone reception.

3. Nagging about the lack of content on TV and needing payTV.

4. Nagging about quitting smoking when she smokes herself.

5. Nagging about transportation or lack there of (e.g state rail).

etc. etc.

[Nadz12345]

happy wife = happy life!

[Covered Beauty]

Salamz

^ That's not nagging.. those are just facts we like to make clear at times..

By the way, just as a side note bro ibnAffan, what you're doing right now is 'nagging' about women 'nagging'.. quite hypoctrical.

Salamz

[Ummulkheir]

Forgive me if this sounds stark but your examples are quite overrated. I mean nagging about phne reception? Honestly whoever is going to walk out the door because his wife nags about her phone and this annoys him so terribly, needs sum srs help. And all of these points could easily be translated to the man:

1. Nagging about food and clothes that need to be ironed.
2. Nagging about kid crying.
3. Nagging about his headache. Etc.

Why dunt we get rid of the word nagging because its becoming overrated. The husband and wife should be there 4 each other in thick and thin, have patience with one another and understand thats its not always going 2 be smooth sailing...

[ibnAffan]

Salamz

^ That's not nagging.. those are just facts we like to make clear at times..

By the way, just as a side note bro ibnAffan, what you're doing right now is 'nagging' about women 'nagging'.. quite hypoctrical.

Salamz

I didn't dispute that men don't nag (although maybe not as extremely as women), so how am I being hypocritical, maybe you accidentally misunderstood.

If VJ's advice is to be adopted, would ignoring the nagging (head in the sand approach) simply fix the problem? Rationally ignoring fixes nothing and makes the problem worse. So the best thing to do is to talk about it. You need some goals with what you want to achieve out of the discussion, otherwise spouses talking, will just result into arguing or a confrontation.

One of the goals should be to stop the nagging by addressing the concerns, and the other to ensure the aggrieved party does not become upset, no matter how trivial/dramatised you think their concerns are. After this, I would say the easiest is to devise a plan to tackle the problem (or buy yourself time as I would like to call it) and sticking to it.

[ibnAffan]

Forgive me if this sounds stark but your examples are quite overrated. I mean nagging about phne reception? Honestly whoever is going to walk out the door because his wife nags about her phone and this annoys him so terribly, needs sum srs help.

What you must think I must be kidding. Spouses have walked out on each other on much less than that.

[Covered Beauty]

Salamz

I didn't dispute that men don't nag (although maybe not as extremely as women), so how am I being hypocritical, maybe you accidentally misunderstood.
Like you keep saying women nag, women nag, women nag.. when what you're actually doing is nagging about the fact the SOME women may nag..

People should learn not to stereotype a whole bunch of people just from a couple of experiences they may of heard about/dealt with. Your fingers aren't all the same.

And yes.. communication is the key. If you think your wife is nagging about a certain issue alot, sit her down and talk through it with her.. most women are understanding and take what others think about them into consideration. Plus, when a woman loves her husband, she'll try to keep him happy as much as she can.. and vice versa should also happen.


What you must think I must be kidding. Spouses have walked out on each other on much less than that.
Well then those ex spouses need to attend an urgent islamic marriage course.. people that walk out on such petty issues show that they themselves do not hold any marriage morals etc. This isn't a game. It's marriage for gods sake.

Salamz

[Abu Muhammad]

What is quite entertaining is that many of you are not married...

[Ummulkheir]

What is quite entertaining is that many of you are not married...

Post of the day.!

[>VeiLeD JeWeL<]

ALLAHUL MUSTA3AN Marriage is such a hot topic these days!

Lek we dont know what marriage is till we taste it!
Let me tell you its not as easy, as we think it is.
Yes a women should obey her husband, but sometimes a husbands actions can make it difficult for this to happen.

i can give many e.g but im just being brief coz im taking care of my lovely nephew:)

SUBHANALLAH i believe both partners have to work together to make there relationship succesful. It saddens me to see only one trying and the other is layed back and doesnt care if his marriage is on the line.. IF pride was thrown out of a relationship and communication was used i dont think we would have so many divorces happening.

[Covered Beauty]

Salamz

What is quite entertaining is that many of you are not married...
And thats a good thing coz at least we're willing to learn the do's and don'ts of a marriage before gettng into it and that's how a person is supposed to be. You're not supposed to jump in to the deep end before learning how to swim. Likewise, you're not supposed to get married, find a problem in your face and not deal with it appropriately.

Salamz

[Saabira]

However, a true mu'minah who:
(a) knows the high status of her husband,
(b) knows his rights over him,
(c) knows that he is her jannah or hellfire,
(d) knows the above hadeeth



Brother, what do you mean by point (c)?

[>VeiLeD JeWeL<]

Brother, what do you mean by point (c)?



Husayn Ibn Muhsin reported from a paternal aunt of his (1) who went to the prophet (saw) concerning some need of hers, that after she has met her need, the Messenger of Allaah said to her: ”Do you have a husband?“
She said, “Yes.”
He said: ”How are you with him?“
She said, “I would do everything for him except that which I am not able to do.“
He said: ”Be careful how you are with him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell.“
[Ahmad 4/341. Al-Nisaa'ee. Al-Tabaraanee. Al-Haakim 2/189 via several isnaads. Its isnaad is saheeh]

i believe this is what he was refering to!

[>VeiLeD JeWeL<]

Salamz

And thats a good thing coz at least we're willing to learn the do's and don'ts of a marriage before gettng into it and that's how a person is supposed to be. You're not supposed to jump in to the deep end before learning how to swim. Likewise, you're not supposed to get married, find a problem in your face and not deal with it appropriately.

Salamz

totally agree

[Abu Muhammad]

Salamz

And thats a good thing coz at least we're willing to learn the do's and don'ts of a marriage before gettng into it and that's how a person is supposed to be. You're not supposed to jump in to the deep end before learning how to swim. Likewise, you're not supposed to get married, find a problem in your face and not deal with it appropriately.

Salamz

But you are discussing it with people who are mainly single. Sorry but that does not make sense...

[Covered Beauty]

Salamz

But you are discussing it with people who are mainly single. Sorry but that does not make sense...
Annddd? I don't get what the problem is.. Plus, when a person is posting up an article, post etc and it clearly isn't what they make it out to be, people are going to quote them and discuss the issue.

Its a forum.

Salamz

[ibnAffan]

But you are discussing it with people who are mainly single. Sorry but that does not make sense...

Good point brother, but there are two alternatives:

1. The prospect of illegal relationships.

2. Obtaining advice from married couples.

As for the first point, marriage is halal, and illegal relationships are not.

As for the second point, just because a couple are married doesn't mean they are happy and are in a healthy relationship. They're just statistics.

It's probably not such a bad idea to discuss marriage in an open manner. As much as those threads on how to be a romantic husband send shivers down my spine, they are needed.

[Abu Muhammad]

Good point brother, but there are two alternatives:

1. The prospect of illegal relationships.

2. Obtaining advice from married couples.

As for the first point, marriage is halal, and illegal relationships are not.

As for the second point, just because a couple are married doesn't mean they are happy and are in a healthy relationship. They're just statistics.

It's probably not such a bad idea to discuss marriage in an open manner. As much as those threads on how to be a romantic husband send shivers down my spine, they are needed.

Yes, of course. By all means obtain advice from married couples. But how many here are? Things like this I think should be kept in private sections...

[Ummulkheir]

Things like this I think should be kept in private sections...

How then will each side understand the others' concerns? Having said that however we need to maintain hayaa in our posts when discussing this sensitive issue in the open bw brothers and sisters especially when tapping into topics on how to be a great spouse, etc.

[Abu Muhammad]

How then will each side understand the others' concerns? Having said that however we need to maintain hayaa in our posts when discussing this sensitive issue in the open bw brothers and sisters especially when tapping into topics on how to be a great spouse, etc.

Figure it out when you get married. Each spouse is different and has different concerns. And I agree with the second point.

[Ummulkheir]

^Not discussing it is the CORE of the problem. We need to move away from the two extremes where either the book is closed completely or we talk about it so openly we forget being modest. The middle of all affairs are the best of them.

[>VeiLeD JeWeL<]

Ya ALLAH its a forum! why is it so bad to talk about marriage? didnt aisha (ra) narrate hadiths about marriage?

Its a open forum and the whole point of a forum is to agree and disagree!
Is it islamically wrong to talk about marriage from behind a sitrah with the opposite gender? Wallahu a3lam i dont think so if we are sincere and theres hundreds of people seeing what has been written!

If your not interested in reading articles about marriage, simple just dont open the thread!

Yes haya is important, but i dont see what was said that haya was not used..

[>VeiLeD JeWeL<]

Obviously we post things jst so it can benefit all of us in the long run inshALLAH!

[Abu Muhammad]

There are enough articles, lectures and books which if you implement them, then Insha'Allah you will be a good spouse. But how can you discuss what marriage is like when many are not married.

Khair Insha'Allah...

[Covered Beauty]

Salamz

Figure it out when you get married. Each spouse is different and has different concerns.Oh come on. The basics that a person should know is the same for everyone.. especially from the psychological point of view. Some people can't figure it out when they face a problem when they're married.. like I said, you have to learn this before marriage. Not after marriage. That's where the problems happen.


If your not interested in reading articles about marriage, simple just dont open the thread!
THANK YOU. My gosh.

Salamz

[Covered Beauty]

Salamz

There are enough articles, lectures and books which if you implement them, then Insha'Allah you will be a good spouse. But how can you discuss what marriage is like when many are not married.

Khair Insha'Allah...
That's what people have been doing.. posting up articles, hadiths etc. I don't re-call anyone discussing the nitty gritty points of what happens between the husband and wife in the home, whetheri t be good or bad.

If you don't like the threads, just don't click on them.

Salamz

[HIJABismybeauty]

La hawla wala qowata illa billah!

[TheAuthenticBase]

lol....

i think ppl need to SUBMIT, as someone back here said...

HUSBAND; submit to the 'best of u r those who r best to their wives'

WIFE; submit to the 'he is ur jannah/hellfire' and the 'prostrate to husband' one, and the 'his anger causes ur salaah not to be acepted' etc...

SUBMIT!!!

[>VeiLeD JeWeL<]

im sure we have to submit to more than just that my friend!
SALAM..

[Abu Muhammad]

Yes, but the "discussion" here is about marriage.

[>VeiLeD JeWeL<]

and theres more than that to submit to in marriage!

anywhos Im outa this inshALLAH, plz do forgive me brothers and sisters if i offended anyone that was not my intention wallah. May ALLAH Forgive us all and give us proper understanding of this beautiful ni3ma islam. ameen
i love you all for the sake of ALLAH. Salam

[Striving 4 Jannah]

There are enough articles, lectures and books which if you implement them, then Insha'Allah you will be a good spouse. But how can you discuss what marriage is like when many are not married.

Khair Insha'Allah...


Thats funny! I agreee....

I dont know why everyones making a big deal about nothing. There wasnt really anything to comment about on this thread except saying jazakallahu kheir for this beautifull hadith. :focus: Anyways, i really like it.
Wasalaam alaikom

[HIJABismybeauty]

Thats funny! I agreee....

I dont know why everyones making a big deal about nothing. There wasnt really anything to comment about on this thread except saying jazakallahu kheir for this beautifull hadith. :focus: Anyways, i really like it.
Wasalaam alaikom

Indeed!!!!!!!!!!!
I Agree also, Subhanallah!!

[Striving 4 Jannah]

Indeed!!!!!!!!!!!
I Agree also, Subhanallah!!

Im glad you agreed my friend. great minds think alike.:BG:

[HIJABismybeauty]

great minds think alike.:BG:


Indeed!! Subhanallah.