Struggling in two worlds

[LOLOLOLOL]

Salam wa lakum,

Sorry for the long post, but i really need to get this out :-)

My name is Kayla and i have been married for 8 years to a wonderful Lebanese muslim man. Our marriage life seems great and we are happy together. I am a revert from an Aboriginal/Australian background and have a completely different family to my husbands.
Our two familys are not close and dont see each other at all (only by accident). For 8 years i suppose i have kinda kept it like that because of the major differences. (ie muslim/non religious - lebanese/aussie).
But lately i have been feeling a little lost and trying to lead two different lives.
Im not really bothered that our families have no interaction but im very upset that my husband isnt as involved in my family as i am with his.
I struggle as it is being a revert in my family, let alone dealing with both lives.
I spend quite alot of time with his family and i really go out of my way to be there for them and be involved with them for the happiness of all of us. There is times that i feel that i am putting in but not getting anything back.
My husband doesnt really get involved with my family and doesnt go out of his way to do things with them or family gatherings and that hurts me so much because i do so much for his family and its like he hates mine.
I dont expect much from him towards my family, but ocasionally i would like it if he wants to go visit them or have a bbq with them or get involved a bit more, its just that everytime he does its like he is doing a chore, not from his heart.
My family are not religious and do things that me and my husband would consider haram but they dont force it on us and respect that we are muslim. I cant change them and i cant force them to change how they are, they are my family and always will be. But its like cause they do those things that its my fault and i get treated differently by my husband because they are my family. If my husband does come to my fathers house, its like he hates that he is there and acts so negative and makes it a difficult experience for me and i dont feel comfortable with him there if he is just going to act like that. I really want him involved more and i want him to want to be around them and do family things all together but i feel he only does it cause he has to.
I feel that its so unfair on me, and that me and my daughter are missing out. Everytime i try to talk to my husband about it he just thinks i am emotional like my family and he never understands how i feel.
I really love my husband and just want peace in both families but i feel that i cant cope with it and that i should just avoid everyone all together and live an isolated life to keep the peace.

Sorry i just didnt know where to turn to and who to talk to.
Any advice will greatly appreciated.

Kayla

[Expired]

I can only reply to this with my own experiences.

Sis try not to dwell too much about what people in each of your families think and say about you, cause if you are going to do this you are going to find that your life with your husband is placed under undue stress and you will find as though you are trying to be the key that holds each side together.

If your husband is not comfortable with your family, then so be it. Dont try to press him to interact with your family, even though it may be the thing you want the most in the world, sometimes our plans dont work out that way.

When it comes to his family please do not make the same mistake as I did... try to change yourself to fit in or be accepted. If they are going to accept you they will do so as you are, dont try to be the "perfect daughter in law" cause it will always come back to bitr you ( believe me on this one)

A way to reduce the feeling of being lost is to loose yourself within your own home, only worry about your husband, yourself & your daughter.

I have found that men dont understand what a woman feels about their interaction with their in laws, they are more often concerned about their own family.

More soon Inshallah...